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you got style : the words of wogan

Terry Wogan added commentary to Eurovision broadcasts on the BBC from 1987 to 2008. In 2003 SBS let an eejit talk all over ESC and had to show Terry the next weekend following a public backlash. 2004 saw a total absence of Terry Wogan as the eejit returned. Following a campaign by EDU and many like-minded fans, Australia was fortunate enough to get Tezza's often bacchanalian-induced wisdom back on SBS from 2005 til 2008.

Since the introduction of the semis Sir Wogan limited himself to only calling the finals. 2008 was Terry's last commentary (he turned 70 just before the '09 contest). Here are some of his best cracks:

Wogan on the Hosts
2006Maria & Sakis
"Now keep your eye on Maria, she strikes me as a bit of wild cannon"
"Those are his own teeth"on Sakis' big smile
[Maria: Tonight is amazing, all of you here are amazing and everyone watching throughout Europe] "are amazing. The whole thing is pretty amazing"
[Maria: And of course so is the woman who made this all possible] "Yeah she's amazing"
[Maria: She's amazing.] "She's amazing. I just think its amazing"
on Maria's favourite word!
"I'll be amazed if someone doesn't say this was amazing."pre-empting at half-time
"I dont believe she said amazing again." [Maria: Isnt she amazing?] "Somebody stop her!"
[Maria: What an amazing night] "Oh I'm going home!"
on being proved right
2005Masha & Pasha
“The entrance of the unfortunates. It’s time for Ant and Shreik” upon entrance
“Stop shrieking!” on Mariya’s voice
“Could you speak up dear? I, I can’t quite hear you” again Mariya’s voice
“You thought you knew some famous Belgians. Yes, it’s the Klitchsko moment. Oh, this is great” on the huge build up to the Klitschsko brothers (boxers) saying some words.
2003Renars & Marie
"Who writes this stuff? Sign him up quick" on the pitiful banter
"This is sparklin' stuff. What about starting the contest? Any chance?" on a very long intro
"The grun room? Where's the parrot? I want the parrot instead of these guys" on Marie's stumble on 'green room' and the parrot featured in the interval act.
"The funsters are, we'll take you outside and shoot you" on Renars' latest rhetorical question to the audience.
2002Aneely & Marko
"Hellooo Aneelleeey and Markooo"on Aneely's accent
"Yes a fairy tale. We've just seen Beauty and the Beast... Little Bo Peep and the Big Bad Wolf"on the fairy tale
"I dont know about you, I'm gonna have a stiff drink."at start of the song by Aneely & Marko
"Talk about Nelson Eddy and Jeanette McDonald."end of song by
Aneely & Marko
2001Natasja & Soren
"Here they come, or as we know them, The Little Mermaid & Dr Death. "
"Watch out, we're due for another visit from Dr Death & The Tooth Fairy!"
"Ah- the Bride of Frankenstein - and is that a bolt through his neck? - I never thought I'd be glad to get back to the songs!"
"Thank God we've all had a few drinks - if anyone can kill a crowd these two can!"
2000Katice & Anders
"I feel we are approaching the song contest itself but it's difficult to tell!"on the longish intro

The Wogan Commentaries 1987-2008         
“I’m terribly sorry, but I don’t believe anyone in Albania looks like this”Albanian Entry (2005)
"Every contest has to have an eejit"Austrian Entry (2003)
"Marvellous laser display - I would have appreciated that a bit more if it hadn't been
for the fella knocking seven bells out of the guitar! "
Belgian Entry (1987)
"If she wins she'll be the sixth most famous Belgian in history - well done that's a
cheery little customer!"
Belgian Entry (1992)
"If she wins of course she'll be the sixth most famous Belgian! - a fashion statement
from Belgium, tiny Swiss rolls for earrings, or are they sardines?"
Belgian Entry (1993)
For more information on famous Belgians
"You'll be pleased with this Belgian entry, because there is a very early and welcome
flash of thigh!"
Belgian Entry (1999)
"Now I would have said that was a 'nil pointer' there!"Belgian Entry (2000)
"They've got four languages in Belgium and they're signing in an imaginary one.
The essence of the Euro"
Belgian Entry (2003)
"This is the UK's attempt to get Eurovision screaming into the 90's - that woke the
whole contest up didn't it - it'll either win by a mile or it's the Diadora
League next year!"
British Entry (1995)
"Her dress has been through the shredders"English Entry (2002)
"I forgot to warn you about his jacket!"Croatian Entry (1994)
"That was song eleven - there's only about 300 more to go!"Croatian Entry (1995)
"The Croatian Spice Girls! - the girls are wearing a little something run up by their
Croatian Entry (1997)
"Her pert loveliness will surpise you!"Croatian Entry (1998)
"I have a sneaking regard for this one - watch out for a very crowd pleasing strip!"Croatian Entry (1999)
"Keep an eye out for the Elephant Man in the background!"Croatian Entry (2000)
"Now if you look at this closely you'll see one of the Corrs sisters has escaped for the
evening from the family compound"
Croatian Entry (2002)
"The legs have it...resist the urge to shout 'they're behind you' this is not a pantomime" Croatian Entry (2003)
"Its a shout a long - much more fun to sing along with than listen to...oh, I thought that prop
[her dress] was getting in the way."
Croatian Entry (2006)
"Alex is striking another death blow for barbers everywhere."Cypriot Entry (1995)
"And to sing for Cyprus, and wearing his mother's curtains - Konstaninos!"Cypriot Entry (1996)
"I speak well of the Cypriot entry as I sit next to the Cypriot commentator - and
she's a fine big woman!"
Cypriot Entry (2000)
"...but first, a song!"Cypriot vote presenter (2003)
"I'm not too keen on the girls frock!"Danish Entry (1987)
"This girl is heavily pregnant - but singing like a dream - and people ask me why
I like the Eurovision Song Contest!"
Danish Entry (1988)
"Fetching tangerine!"Danish Entry (1990)
"They're singing in the round, it's probably a Danish thing!"Danish Entry (1993)
"Bookies give this one 8-1 - I can't see it myself - but what do I know?"Danish entry (1995)
“The Danes like it. They don’t think much of me”Danish Entry (2005)
"The lady's poured into something black!"Dutch Entry (1993)
"It's OJ Simpson meets Ruby Wax"Dutch Entry (1996)
"They came out in rehearsals looking like the World of Leather - you could have
made a couple of settees out of them!"
Dutch Entry (1997)
"Traditionally as mad as a bucket of frogs"Dutch Voters (2003)
"Yamma Yamma- see if you can remember the words!"Finnish Entry (1992)
"They're wearing their mother's underwear!"Finnish Entry (1994)
"Its the return of the Klingons and the Orcs... a nice understated performance."Finnish Entry (2006)
"A lived in face!"French Entry (1988)
"You'll either love this or loathe it!"French Entry (1992)
"Cruella de Ville sings for France"French Entry (1999)
W: "...pour l'Belgique?"
French presenter: "Douze point pour l'Belgique"
W: "Quelle surprise!"
French voting (2003)
"But its the same song the French have been singing since they hung the washing out on the Maginot Line."French Entry (2006)
"This is a contest in which you're gonna see a lot of hair, it's a slap in the face for
Europe's barbers!"
German Entry (1995)
"Allright Bianca give it some welly!"German Entry (1997)
"This, as the Germans say, is truly schrecklich! This is going to set tongues a-
wagging all over Europe!"
German Entry (1998)
"This is the Germans ridiculing the ridiculous!"German Entry (2000)
“Bit of unashamed pandering to the raincoat brigade. Wasn’t that awful everybody?”German Entry (2005)
"That's the stuff - you get your moneys worth here!"Greek Entry (1988)
"Watch out for the boy in the vest - the boy in the vest steals it!"Greek Entry (1996)
"Its life Jim, but not as we know it"Greek Entry (2002)
"If you had a pair of handcuffs and a whip they're very welcome here" Greek Entry (2003)
“Another of these plain girls that Eurovision is afflicted with this year”Greek Entry (2005)
"Some of these people have never heard of conditioner - that's 5-2 to get nil points!"Hungarian Entry (1995)
"This is a real Eurosong, they do a little walking and bounce about a bit!"Icelandic Entry (1990)
"See if you can watch this without being distracted by those two idiots in the
Icelandic Entry (1999)
"A pert lovely favouring the tight trouser - which is such a welcome feature here in Riga"Icelandic Entry (2003)
"My trained senses tell me that this song is more than just a sniff of a send up of
all Eurosong cliches!"
Israeli Entry (1987)
"A shredded skirt which will take your fancy - and steam rising from the stage!"Israeli Entry (1990)
"Dressed like refugees from a Christmas cake!"Israeli Entry (1993)
“’I was a like a blind woman at daybreak.’ Of course the drink is a terrible curse”Israeli Entry (2005)
"They got dressed up for this the Italians - you're absolutely nothing without a
pair of leather trousers in Italy!"
Italian Entry (1993)
"Don't ask me what the automaton was about, this is the Eurovision Song Contest...a capella, they'll
probably come last...for goodness sake: What's the automaton? what's that got to do with anything?"
Latvian Entry (2006)
"Not a winner - but what do I know?"Lithuanian Entry (1999)
"She's got a great pair of...lungs!"Maltese Entry (1996)
"If I were him, I'd give the choreographer a slap!"Maltese Entry (2001)
“A defined, well-set, lump of a woman”Maltese Entry (2005)
“You've got four dancers, for whom modern dance stopped about 30 years ago.”Maltese Entry (2006)
"That's Kate for Norway - she had a nasty shock before she came on stage!"Norwegian Entry (1987)
"It's during that kind of song that you begin to notice the set a bit more"Norwegian Entry (1997)
"I can't speak for tonight's performance but it was apparent in the rehearsals that
the Norwegian hairdresser had suffered a nervous break down!"
Norwegian Entry (2000)
“Watch out for the lead singer. You’ll be able to tell what he had for breakfast”Norwegian Entry (2005)
"It's a dark little piece -I don't think that's gonna win - call me brave if you like!"Polish Entry (1995)
"This song is not the most cheerful you've ever heard in your life!"Polish Entry (1996)
"It's a bit of a sad old song - that's the Polish entry - not gonna set the Jordan on fire!"Polish Entry (1999)
"A vision in crumpled linen with a kind of Greek chorus - that's not one of
their worst!"
Portuguese Entry (1995)
"Song number four, Portugal - only four you cry!"Portuguese Entry (1996)
"This girl will need the neck muscles of Arnold Schwarzenegger to keep this
necklace up! I don't know why her head isn't down by her knees!"
Romanian Entry (1998)
"Glam Rock arrives at the Eurovision - who said the medallion was dead?"Russian Entry (1995)
"If the late great Dick Emery wasn't dead, I'd have my doubts about that one!"Russian Entry (1997)
"Keep an eye on this fella, I don't think he's the full shilling!"Russian Entry (2001)
"When you pick a boy band usually, you pick them for their good looks. But the Russians
appear to have gone to the other extreme"
Russian Entry (2002)
“Any sign of Topol?…’I will reach for you across the rocky mountains, take you to my old stone
cottage’ and beat you within an inch of your life”
Serbian Entry (2005)
"Kylie in dreadlocks really…note the particularly butch walloopers dressing the act in the background"Spanish Entry (2003)
“As familiar as tapas and a dry sherry… with the added bonus of some bouncing bosoms.”Spanish Entry (2005)
"Old kids on the block!"Swedish Entry (1990)
"Christer has just a suspicion of Paddy Ashdown about him - I don't think it's a
winner, but what do I know!"
Swedish Entry (1992)
"They're not like us the Swedes, are they?"Swedish Entry (1994)
"You ask yourself where have these people been for the last 30 years!"Swedish Entry (1997)
"This pert little Miss is a touch heavy on the purple eye shadow!"Swedish Entry (1999)
"That went very big in the hall…but keep in mind they've had a lot of drinks since the start"Swedish Entry (2003)
"A fine lump of a girl - trousers of kitchen foil, not a girl who believes in standing still in the force of a gale. "Swedish Entry (2006)
"There's echoes of The Stripper in this!"Swiss Entry (1992)
"Here he is - the beard from Basel!"Swiss Entry (1994)
"Look out for the fella playing the trumpet - I think I saw him playing out in the
street before we came in!"
Swiss Entry (1997)
"Watch out for the backing group, they give it lot's of shoulder - that dress promised
a little more than it delivered!"
Swiss Entry (1998)
“I haven’t had a cool vibe for... I haven’t had a vibe for years.” Swiss Entry (2005)
"He might have shaved!"Turkish Entry (1998)
"Yes, it's bellybuttons and handclapping"Turkish Entry (1999)
“Keep an eye out for Archimandrite, Archbishop of the Bongo”Turkish Entry (2005)

Wogan on Eurovision
"Be of good cheer we're nearly half way through - it's about this time I reach for the bottle"(2001)
"Is it a subtle pageant of post-modern irony? Is it a monumental piece of kitsch? Is it just a load of old plasticene? Who cares."(2003)
"You remember when this was a song contest, don't you?"(2005)

"Every year you think, it can't get any worse...."

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