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:: NEWS before Helsinki ::
< return to current news >Lordi Lordi!
They've taken the Architecture out of Helsinki and put the Hell back in. Lordi, Amen, Ox, Awa, and Kita have secured Finland's first victory at Eurovision (previous best was 6th back in 1973).
Call it parody, call it gimmick, call it one of the few interesting songs sung in the correct key on the night: Lordi won by the proverbial country mile. EDU was chastened by the crushing defeat of our predicted contenders (Germany and Ukraine) and have slightly adjusted our predictor model for next year: we're just going to ask any kid under 10 what band they like and go with that. (Hats off to EDU associate Thomas - aged 8 - for predicting Lordi from the get go).
Tomorrow I GoEurobeat (formerly Eurovision the Musical) by Craig Christie and Andrew Patterson returns to Melbourne, for a season at Crown Casino starting on May 18th, 2006. Eurovision the Musical started at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival and then played again in November 2004 in Prahran. It stars Julia Zamira (host of RocKwiz & Brainiest Music Personality) and proves you can take the piss out of Eurovision and have something left over.
more...
Don't Trust, Don't FearSilvia Nott (Night) is a character played by actress Ágústa Eva Erlendsdóttir. Clearly both this fact (that Silvia is a piss take) and Scandanavian humour has gone straight to the keeper for much of Europe. The Greek audience audibly booed her when she came on stage - following the news covering her tantrums at rehearsal where she swore about Greece and called everyone amateurs.
That was nothing with Silvia's performance after the Semi Final. You can catch the actual Greek news coverage here but the stand out quotes include:Silvia Night: Ungrateful bastards... you dont vote me because I not a slapper from Holland and I'm not an ugly, fucking, old bitch from Sweden.
Journalist (off screen): This is not so good, why are you saying this?
SN: Fuck you![After accusing Greek TV journalists of spreading lies about her slagging off Greece]
"I will sue you, and I will sue the competition and you will all go to jail."Silvia also claimed the only reason Carola qualified for the Grand Final was that she had sex with the head of the EBU in a car before the competition. Asked if she was serious, she replied "Yes. I saw them in a car right outside my hotel room. What she's done is terrible...It's her fault I didn't qualify. She's been copying me ever since I got here."
Let's Get LewdPaul de Leeuw (a well-known Dutch comedian and gay activist) read the votes for the Netherlands at the Grand Final and took an awfully long time to do it. For those of us not listening to a Spanish commentator drown him out, here was the exhange between Paul and a very gracious Sakis Rouvas:
Rouvas: Hello Netherlands! Paul…
De Leeuw: Hello Greece, kalisperma everybody!
R: Kalispera Paul.
DL: You look like Will & Grace, you two. So here are the votes, the Dutch votes. Let’s come... Now the eight points. Are you ready Chaci, tzatziki, cichaci?
R: Yes, haha.
DL: Are you ready? Eight points. I like your blouse. The eight points are for Bosnia-Hoshegovina. Yeah.
R: Bosnie-Herzégovine, huit points.
DL: Yes, I say. And the ten points, Zhacki, Zhicka, Chucka, are from Armenia!
R: Arménie, dix points.
DL: Ok, Chacki, will you have my mobile number now or after twelve points?
R: Give it to me now. I bet it’s 69 69 69. [1]
DL: Ok, 00… no no no no no… I’m not the French guy! [2] Its 00 31 6 24 74 44 32 10 dial 1. Twelve points goes to, I’m very proud to say, Turkey! Twelve points.1. In Greece all mobile numbers begin with 69
2. A reference to a French magazine's interview with Rouvas where the interviewer assumed that Rouvas was gay and ran the interview accordingly.
For RealDespite claims by Daz Simpson that politics undermined his chance at immortality; this year's ESC appears to be less fraught by neighbour voting than many recent years. Our predictor model - based mostly on neighbourhood watch votes - worked at semi-finals, correctly predicting seven of the ten qualifiers (and we stuck Belgium in just coz it was Kate). However the model totally failed for the Grand Final - only getting three of the top seven (and 4 of the top 9).
EDU Predicts: Big Things for the Big FourFor 2006 EDU has combined the average rankings we gave the songs with the existing Neighbourhood bloc voting patterns to try to get a more accurate prediction. For the second year in a row our winner is one point ahead of second place. And the result is surprising, considering the Big Four were the Last Four in 2005.
The winner for 2006 based on reports from three districts, and with the help of Antony Green, is: GERMANY. One point ahead of FRANCE.
We've then got Greece, Romania and the Ukraine all about a dozen points behind, with Russia, Norway, Belgium and Iceland the other big scorers. Some things won't change: we have half of the Big Four in the last three slots (Spain 3rd last, United Kingdom 2nd last). EDU predicts Israel will be a nil pointe in the Final.Members of EDU have tipped the winner three years running - so we're cocky and ready to be knocked off our pedastel. Currently we're liking Germany and France based on the songs, but reckon Ukraine is the wildcard in terms of stage-shows picking up a bunch of votes.
Show Me Your LoveFive of the last eight ESC winners (and the last four in a row) have been female* singers who danced while singing. The songs have been standard pop or dance-oriented pop with subtle ethnic additions.
Applying those guidelines to this year's contest makes Ukraine the stand-out to replicate this success. Its dance-pop with a touch of Topol's Fiddler on the Roof and Tina Karol is a very presentable lass who will no doubt put on a good floorshow (the song does not require too much effort from her, leaving her dance energy).
The true problem predicting Ukraine's success this year is the fall out from the Orange Revolution. Last year, Russia and Belarus deserted Ukraine due to the political nature of the contest and lingering hard feelings. Tina is ethnic Russian - so perhaps this will provide an excuse to send Russian and Belarusian votes her way. Viktor Yushenko's political fortunes have fallen dramatically, so Ukraine may no longer be seen as 'them' by the former Slavic Neighbourhood voting bloc.
To top it all off, Tina is Jewish - so we can expect some votes to go her way from Israel (plus the ethnic flavour will appeal to expatriate Soviet Jews in Israel). If EDU were to add high votes from Israel, Russia and Belarus to Ukraine, and subtract those points allocated to other acts our predictor model would get Ukraine to within three points of France and Germany. A good floor show would clearly put her ahead of France and Germany (neither of whom look to be fielding good floor shows).
* We will always count Dana International as female.
EDU Predicts: QualifiersUtilising neighbour voting patterns with a minor quality control filter (much like reality), we predict the following ten songs will progress from Semi Final to the Final in Athens:
Last year we tipped a Top Ten plus a Wildcard and got 6/11 correct.
- Kate Ryan - Je t'adore (Belgium)
- Silvia Nott - Congratulations Iceland (Iceland)
- Sandra Oxenryd - Through My Window (Estonia)
- Carola - Invincible (Sweden)
- LT United - We Are The Winners (Lithuania)
- Lordi - Hard Rock Hallelujah (Finland)
- Tina Karol - Show Me Your Love (Ukraine)
- Sibel Tuzun - Super Star (Turkey)
- Dima Bilan - Never Let You Go (Russia)
- Elena Risteska - Ninanajna (FYROM)
Il Gagner TempsAthens will trial an expugated voting method. All 37 voting nations will still be "calling" but they will only read out votes 8, 10 and 12. Their 1-7 points will appear instantly on the scoreboard.
While this attempts to solve a big problem (voting has become excruciating with 36+ nations) if one country gets a lot of 7s, the scoreboard will jump around very rapidly: viewers may be bored by all the 'Loved the show' chit-chat PLUS they will become disengaged from the evolution of the voting results. We'll see!
EDU still thinks the solution is to only allow those competing in the Final call in their votes ( 1-8, 10 and 12). The nations eliminated at Semi-Final stage can still vote, but their votes should be added to the tally board without crossing to them. Perhaps at the half-way point in the voting - if you put all those points up at once at the very start it could destroy any suspence if there is a clear winner.
No, No NovacastrianGerman entry 'Texas Lightning' includes ESC '06 only Australian entrant: Jane Comerford. Comerford was born in Newcastle and studied piano and violin at the Sydney Conservatorium before leaving God's Own Land in 1980 for Hamburg and eventually writing the German's entry 'No No Never.'
My Number TwoIn a re-run of last year, Montenegrin judges blackballed the most popular entrant in Serbia & Montenegro's finals so 'No Name' (ESC 05) could qualify for Athens. Howled off stage by the outraged audience, Serbia has now withdrawn from ESC altogether (taking Montenegro and No Name with them). Slobodan Milosevic died of a heart attack after hearing the news, and Montenegro will certainly vote to secede from the political union. It's all Eurovision, people!
In subsequent developments Serbian broadcasters asked Athens to authorise a 2nd National Final without judges' votes, however Montenegro specifcially rejected this style of contest when arrangements were made a few years ago - so the compromise is likely to come to nothing.
Tomorrow I GoEurobeat (formerly Eurovision the Musical) by Craig Christie and Andrew Patterson returns to Melbourne, for a season at Crown Casino starting on May 18th (don't worry, the semi will be on SBS on the 19th). Eurovision the Musical started at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival and then played again in November 2004 in Prahran. It stars Julia Zamira (host of RocKwiz & Brainiest Music Personality) and proves you can take the piss out of Eurovision and have something left over.
Meaningless ThingsIn a dummy spit of epic proportions, Austria has withdrawn from ESC '06. Network ORF opted to ignore the public votes for Alf Poier and sent Global Kryner to Kyiv (Alf had double their popular vote in Austria). Citing the failure of Global Kryner as evidence not that ORF had it wrong, but rather that Eurovision is broken, they elected not to enter in 2006.
Markus Spiegel (described by Poier as 'the only living Mozartkugel' a ball-shaped chocolate) was the consultant in 2005 who selected Global Kryner over Poier. In 2003 he described Eurovision as career suicide. Poier's reaction was controlled as expected:
"Austria is free! Free from the Song Contest and thus free from any intrigues, non-democratic election systems and wrong decisions which are connected to it year after year."
I Will Reach For YouRedefining the very concept of a continent, Europe's Song Contest welcomes Armenia to the 2006 Contest.
The History Book on the Shelf...Waterloo was the clear winner of Eurovision's 50th Anniversary night. The results for the Top Five were released, plus the order for those eliminated in the first round. 'Poupée de cire poupée de son' was dead last - clearly there are not many of us Serge Gainsbourg fans left!
1. ABBA - Waterloo - 329 points (included 17 douze and 8 dix)
2. Domenico Modugno - Nel blu di pinto di blu (Volare) - 267 points
3. Johnny Logan - Hold me now - 262 points
4. Helena Paparizou - My number one - 245 points
5. Brotherhood of Man - Save all your kisses for me - 230 points6. 2000 - Denmark - Olsen Brothers - Fly on the wings of love
7. 1982 - Germany - Nicole - Ein bißchen Frieden
8. 1968 - United Kingdom - Cliff Richard - Congratulations
9. 2003 - Turkey - Sertab - Everyway that I can
10. 1988 - Switzerland - Céline Dion - Ne partez pas sans moi
11. 1973 - Spain - Mocedades - Eres tu
12. 1980 - Ireland - Johnny Logan - What’s another year
13. 1998 - Israel - Dana International - Diva
14. 1965 - Luxembourg - France Gall - Poupée de cire poupée de son
The War is Not OverEurovision hits 50 on October 22nd with a gala special from Copenhagen, hosted by Renars (Brainstorm) and Katrina (of the Waves). Yes, its drugs and turds together again for the very first time!
The evening will be see 14 previous winners and criminally overlooked moral winners of the past vying for the title of... well, some title of some kind. The songs are:
The brain says Volare must win something, the groin says Dana International but the heart says Waterloo.
- Nel blu, di pinto di blu (Volare) - Domenico Modugno - Italy, 1958
- Poupée de cire, poupée de son - France Gall - Luxemburg, 1965
- Congratulation - Cliff Richard - UK, 1968
- Eres tú - Mocedades - Spain, 1973
- Waterloo - ABBA - Sweden, 1974
- Save your kisses for me - Brotherhood of Man - UK, 1976
- What's another year - Johnny Logan - Ireland, 1980
- Ein bisschen Frieden - Nicole - Germany, 1982
- Hold me now - Johnny Logan - Ireland, 1987
- Ne partez pas sans moi - Céline Dion - Switzerland, 1988
- Diva - Dana International - Israel, 1998
- Fly on the wings of love - Olsen Brothers - Denmark, 2000
- Everyway that I can - Sertab Erener - Turkey, 2003
- My Number One - Helena Paparizou - Greece, 2005
Eurovision 2006 in Melbourne: It Makes SenseWith Thessaloniki and Athens arguing over which city should host Eurovision 2006, we at EDU make a sensible offer of a compromise: hold it in Melbourne.
Thessaloniki correctly argues too much emphasis has been placed on Athens as a Greek city and that the second (or say third) largest Greek city in the world should be considered. Athens counters that Thessaloniki lacks the large indoor stadiums it built for the Olympics, just like Melbourne did for our Olympics, and the Commonwealth Games coming up.
There is no need to fight Thessaloniki and Athens - the third largest Greek city in the world has more than enough venues for ESC and we gladly offer our assistance to end this harmful bickering.