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| Cyprus | One | Gimme |
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Music: | Your typical boy band tune - very reminiscent of N'Synch and co.. It was quick-paced and up-beat. |
| Presentation: | The guys are clearly professional and while a little over enthusiastic at the start, clearly earned 6th place and could have gone higher. |
| Comments: | |
| Score: 85 pts | Douze Point: | Greece |
| Place: 6th | Neighbourhood Watch: | Greece (12) + backscratch , Malta (10) + backscratch |
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| UK | Jessica Garlick | Come Back |
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Music: | Britney copies her own music, now Jessica is copying Britney's copies. Pop idols will eat themselves. |
| Presentation: | The first Destiny Child outfit of the night - mini-skirt and off the shoulder midriff top, all covered in tassles and stuff. |
| Comments: | "Her dress has been through the shredders" (Terry Wogan) |
| Score: 111 pts
| Douze Point: | Malta |
| Place: 3rd
| Neighbourhood Watch: | n/a |
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| Austria | Manuel Ortega | Say A Word |
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Music: | Say a word and I'll be there. Sing seven and you have Austria's entry. |
| Presentation: | Manuel looked great and the act was really revving up until everyone realised the song was 25 seconds long and then repeated over and over and over. |
| Comments: | |
| Score: 26 pts
| Douze Point: | United Kingdom |
| Place: 18th
| Neighbourhood Watch: | Switzerland (5)*
* As Switzerland's highest score it sticks out - and there's no Francophonia to mitigate. |
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| Greece | Mihalis Rakintzis | S' Agapo 'I Love You' |
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Music: | If Gary Numan and Depeche Mode had a love-child in 1983 and sheltered it from all cultural influences thereafter, you'd be close to how bad this sounded. |
| Presentation: | "Its the Attack of the Clones. Here come the Borg" (Terry Wogan) |
| Comments: | "Its life Jim, but not as we know it" (Terry Wogan) |
| Score: 27 pts
| Douze Point: | Cyrpus |
| Place: 17th
| Neighbourhood Watch: | Cyprus (12) + backscratch |
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| Spain | Rosa | Europe's Living A Celebration |
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Music: | This went down big with Belgium and Switzerland (the EC focussed countries). The song was energetic and should have been a dead-cert to win in a year of currency union. |
| Presentation: | Rosa looked much better than her Operacion Triunfo photos and if you could put up with her aerobics style of dancing put on a good show. |
| Comments: | One of these two factors killed Rosa's song: the verses were in Spanish and no one knew what she was singing about, or the ESC now represents a reclaiming of cultural territory with the advent of the € which explains the increase in Neighbourhood voting. |
| Score: 81 pts
| Douze Point: | Latvia |
| Place: 7th
| Neighbourhood Watch: | France (8) + backscratch |
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| Croatia | Vesna Pisarovic | Sasvim Sigurna 'Completely Sure' |
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Music: | Did she sing? I cant remember. My wife says its wasnt a good song. I was distracted. |
| Presentation: | CORR-blimey. The hairstyling, plastic surgery, semi-erotic props and dance moves were all very captivating. Croatia sends women in Helene pants two years in a row (its pants with the short skirt over the top). |
| Comments: | "Now if you look at this closely you'll see one of the Corrs sisters has escaped for the evening from the family compound" (Terry Wogan) |
| Score: 44 pts
| Douze Point: | Malta |
| Place: 11th
| Neighbourhood Watch: | Slovenia (8) |
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| Russia | Premier Ministr | Northern Girl |
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Music: | POP goes Russia. This was a classic Eurovision entry. Its kitsch, but its damned good! The chorus once in your head, cannot be removed. '...frosty eyes. Im gonna melt you...' |
| Presentation: | The anti-Vesnas (Croatia). Where Vesna was so good looking you forgot to listen to the song, these guys were so ugly and badly dressed you assumed the song sucked. As with Mumiy Troll the year before, Russia can win Eurovision - it just needs to place a dark screen between its performers and the audience. |
| Comments: | "When you pick a boy band usually, you pick them for their good looks. But the Russians appear to have gone to the other extreme" (Terry Wogan) |
| Score: 55 pts
| Douze Point: | Romania |
| Place: 10th
| Neighbourhood Watch: | Romania (12), Latvia (10), Lithuania (4) |
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| Estonia | Sahléne | Runaway |
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Music: | A very mainstream girly pop song. Written by the guy who wrote 'Once in a Lifetime' for ESC-2000. That was better. |
| Presentation: | Sahléne did back-up for Charlotte Neilsen when she won ESC in 1999. Charlotte was better. |
| Comments: | People are very polite to the host nation. Equal third!?! This had middle of the field written all over it. |
| Score: 111 pts
| Douze Point: | Latvia |
| Place: 3rd
| Neighbourhood Watch: | Latvia (12), Russia (10), Sweden (8), Finland (5), Lithuania (2)* * and I highlight the 2 points to Lithuania only because I saw Lithuania's entry. |
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| Macedonia | Karolina Goceva | Od Nas Zavisi 'It Depends On Us' |
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Music: | I loved this song. Its so rare to hear some folk-basis to a song in ESC where it melds successfully with modern music. The keyboards were very similar to Algerian pop-rai. Karolina's singing voice was superb. Apparently she threatened to walk out if they didnt let her sing in English. I doubt it would sound better in English (ie. it sounds so good in Macedonian). |
| Presentation: | WOW! Usually when ESC contestants pull off dresses you get Bucks Fizz flashbacks and expect to see lots of thigh. Karolina's strip revealed not an inch more skin, but a huge red skirt and gold-Xena style breastplate. The backup singers seemed to have escaped from Greece's entry, though. |
| Comments: | She was robbed! I reckon its the best song from ESC 2002. Webcast viewers agreed voting it first, just ahead of Rosa (Spain). Why do the public want boring songs and dumb gimmicks? |
| Score: 25 pts
| Douze Point: | Romania |
| Place: 19th
| Neighbourhood Watch: | Romania (12) |
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| Israel | Sarit Hadad | Let's Light A Candle Together |
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Music: | Dull as. |
| Presentation: | Dull as. |
| Comments: | This got 12 more points than Karolina (FYR Macedonia). Sympathy goes a long way - maybe Skopje should broadcast more battles with Albanians in the lead up to ESC 2004!?! |
| Score: 37 pts
| Douze Point: | Latvia |
| Place: 12th
| Neighbourhood Watch: | n/a |
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| Switzerland | Francine Jordi | Dans Le Jardin De Mon Âme 'In the Garden of my Soul' |
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Music: | It was in French, thus logically (it seems) it must be slow and boring. |
| Presentation: | Most photos make Francine look like an African-American in her 50s. She is a very petite Pixie-like 24 year old. The performance was straight forward as you'd expect from a ballad. |
| Comments: | If France got 5th place, then this deserved a lot higher. Check out her web site which is very cute and has a lot of photos from backstage. |
| Score: 15 pts
| Douze Point: | Spain |
| Place: 22nd
| Neighbourhood Watch: | France (10)* * The fact they're both French speaking mitigates this a bit. |
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| Sweden | Afro-Dite | Never Let It Go |
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Music: | Donna Summer and Gloria Gaynor find Aaliyah alive on an island. They disguise themselves as a shiny version of Destiny's Child and sneak onto stage at Tallinn...BUT THEN |
| Presentation: | We all discover, one of them can no longer sing! |
| Comments: | A lot of bookies can retire on this Contest. 3/1 favouritism and it came in 8th - most of those votes from punters trying to save their investment. |
| Score: 72 pts
| Douze Point: | Estonia |
| Place: 8th
| Neighbourhood Watch: | Estonia (12), Finland (10) |
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| Finland | Laura | Addicted To You |
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Music: | A funk/disco-inspired pop song which was cruelly overlooked by ESC viewers - much to the anger of the Finns. It deserved a lot more votes than it got (a top 5 entry from our perspective) but it would have probably done better if it was entered in 1992 rather than 2002. |
| Presentation: | "Its a woman dressed like a man whose trying to look like a woman" (my pal Melena) |
| Comments: | "Estonia is very popular with the Finns. They come here for the culture, and the drink is cheaper also." (Terry Wogan) |
| Score: 24 pts
| Douze Point: | France |
| Place: 20th
| Neighbourhood Watch: | Estonia (10), Sweden (7) |
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| Denmark | Malene Mortensen | Vis Mig, Hvem Du Er 'Tell Me Who You Are' |
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Music: | Whats the midpoint between 'middle of the road' and 'crap'? Why didnt Denmark stick with Country and Western? Thats been working well for them. |
| Presentation: | Dont let the boudoir photos fool you, Malene was stiff as a board and nearly as interesting to watch. |
| Comments: | Someone has to come last. If Malene never moved, why were the Danish TV execs so angry that 25 of the 28 cameras werent on for the dress rehearsal? Was there ever a chance something good was going to be missed? |
| Score: 7 pts
| Douze Point: | Malta |
| Place: 24th
| Neighbourhood Watch: | Sweden (10) |
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| Bosnia | Maja Tatic | Na Jastuku Za Dvoje 'On A Pillow For Two' |
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Music: | Not memorable - not bad, just not great. More middle of the road than Nino Prses' lo-fi Ali G-esque song of 2001. |
| Presentation: | A bit dull - but the hot pink stage lighting really made this look terrible. The backup singers looked nice, but someone decided Maja should be dressed like she just came back from the mall - black blouse hanging loose and black pants. Surely there's no need to cover her that much. |
| Comments: | |
| Score: 33 pts
| Douze Point: | Sweden |
| Place: 13th
| Neighbourhood Watch: | n/a |
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| Belgium | Sergio & The Ladies | Sister |
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Music: | For Australians - it was a cross between Jimmy Barnes and Tom Jones. For non-Australians: imagine someone with some of Tom's moves but who screeches instead of sings. |
| Presentation: | I cant get enough of ugly men, punching the air and trying to do somersaults (the cameras missed all the good stuff this year - did he or didnt he fall on his arse?) |
| Comments: | It broke up the slow songs and gave everyone a good laugh - it served its purpose. Turkey gave this 10 points and Russia, 7. One of those countries is nuclear! |
| Score: 33 pts
| Douze Point: | Spain |
| Place: 13th
| Neighbourhood Watch: | France (10)* * The fact they're both French speaking mitigates this a bit. |
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| France | Sandrine François | Il Faut Du Temps 'It Takes Time' |
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Music: | Its Celine! No its Natasha St Pier! No, its the same thing every year from France (except Sofia Mestari from a few years back, she was good). |
| Presentation: | The ennui induced lack of movement or expression that is de rigeur for French ballads. |
| Comments: | "A moody French temptress" (Terry Wogan) whose taste in women differs from mine. |
| Score: 104 pts
| Douze Point: | Spain |
| Place: 5th
| Neighbourhood Watch: | Spain (12) |
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| Germany | Corinna May | I Can't Live Without Music |
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Music: | I can live without this music. White soul with a twist of gospel? |
| Presentation: | We were wondering at home, how come a blind person can mimick Stevie Wonder's moves so closely. Its not like she can watch a tape of him... a mystery. Very dull to watch Corinna - her backup singers' activty just drew attention to the problem. |
| Comments: | Another favourite with the bookies. Do they listen to these before setting odds? |
| Score: 17 pts
| Douze Point: | Latvia |
| Place: 21st
| Neighbourhood Watch: | n/a |
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| Turkey | Safir | Leylaklar Soldu Kalbinde 'Lilacs Filled In My Heart' |
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Music: | A bouncey light number, Buget's voice seems older and fatter than the body it comes from. |
| Presentation: | Very colourful group with lots of motion and a very Young Talent Time ending. |
| Comments: | Has Turkish pop ever sold outside Turkey and parts of Cyprus? |
| Score: 29 pts
| Douze Point: | Austria |
| Place: 16th
| Neighbourhood Watch: | n/a |
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| Malta | Ira Losco | Seventh Wonder |
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Music: | The chorus is so cheesy, you could fry it and have it as entree. Malta produces a lot of good ESC contenders and deserves to win it once. This was inoffensive enough to do, one would have thought. |
| Presentation: | Great presentation. She used every inch of stage (setting off late for the island podium for her finale) and we were all relieved to see her glitter. |
| Comments: | Where is that hand going?!?!?! The best bad camera shot of the night had many an eye bulging as Ira's hand disappeared into her jumpsuit and went for a dig southwards. |
| Score: 164 pts
| Douze Point: | Cyprus |
| Place: 2nd
| Neighbourhood Watch: | Cyprus (12) + backscratch |
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| Romania | Monica Anghel & | Marcel Pavel The Voi Iubi Mereu 'Tell Me Why' |
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Music: | Rene and Renata are back, but this time they're Slavic. |
| Presentation: | Costume design by an 80 year old widow... coincidentally, thats who must have voted for it. The grey vote counts in ESC - 9th place!!! |
| Comments: | No! Tell Me Why. |
| Score: 71 pts
| Douze Point: | Macedonia (FYR) |
| Place: 9th
| Neighbourhood Watch: | Russia (10) + backscratch |
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| Slovenia | Sestre | Samo Ljubezen |
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Music: | Lounge keyboards, Supremes-like verses and a pumping disco beat. This was different, but that's a good thing by me. |
| Presentation: | Can a whacky Cabaret act win you Eurovision? NO. |
| Comments: | A huge hit Down Under, we love our cross-dressers. Obviously not a winner in Europe where only France, UK and Spain gave it a go. |
| Score: 33 pts
| Douze Point: | Croatia |
| Place: 13th
| Neighbourhood Watch: | Croatia (12) |
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| Latvia | Marija N (Naumova) | I Wanna |
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Music: | She Bangs. She Plagarises. |
| Presentation: | Can a tacky Cabaret act win you Eurovision? SURE CAN. Marija starts out as a guy in white pants (the new black in the Baltics) and black shirt. Her male companions rip off the shirt and pants to reveal a skin-hugging pink underthingy which eventually gets pulled down into a sort-of evening gown (but made of polyester and lycra). |
| Comments: | This sorts of thing dents your faith in Eurovision. Everybody from 2001 was bad enough, but another incoherent, rambling, boring, derivative piece of retro-trash? |
| Score: 176 pts
| Douze Point: | Estonia |
| Place: 1st
| Neighbourhood Watch: | Estonia (12), Russia (10), Lithuania (6) |
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| Lithuania | Aivaras Stepukonis | Happy You |
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Music: | On one hand I want to say this guy did well filling in at the last minute after B'Avaria were disqualified... |
| Presentation: | But on the other hand, he came second in the national final. |
| Comments: | All of Lithuania's votes came via Neighbourhood Watch. |
| Score: 12 pts
| Douze Point: | Latvia |
| Place: 23rd
| Neighbourhood Watch: | 10 points to Sweden, 12 points to Latvia |
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